We took a stroll at our default Fen, where we were glad not to see any hunters stalking the dwindling wildlife.  The flowers, bees, butterflies, and birds were out in full force, however.

We had a first today–we saw an otter in a stream at JB!  We’ve never seen one in the parks here.  Sorry I couldn’t catch it in a photo.  The late summer shade flowers were dazzling, the fungi were glowing, and the water was rushing.  That subtle change of atmosphere and light is palpable in the air.

This old Hebrew folk song seems appropriate, considering the profusion of flowers in our yard this erev.  Please feel free to check out all the flower photos.

“Evening of roses, let us go out to the grove, myrrh, spices, and incense are a carpet to walk on…”

(It loses something in translation!)

We took our neighbor to YS, where she bought us lunch at Aleta’s Café, with its lovely garden and ponds, and friendly staff.  Then we showed her some favorite haunts, like Heaven on Earth Emporium, which has a labyrinth of cozy rooms decked out in different era themes like hippie, mystical, bellydance, Victorian, black&white, the twenties, etc.  Our reliable “YS girl” was outside in her latest outfit.  Later, I made piña coladas from scratch.

Ohio is THE most trans-unfriendly state of the union.  It is literally in the dark ages.  I mean, it’s no more than we expected, but it’s still a painful blow.  Nine long months after applying for a simple birth certificate name and gender marker change, submitted with the official medical post-op evidence, they finally got around to sending it back with the gender unchanged.  Normally it would only take a short time, but not for trans people.  This state seems to enjoy playing around with people’s lives, hopes, and dreams.   Ohio refuses to recognize this essential civil right, because it’s still a medieval state.  If your BC doesn’t match your other vital records (SS, driver’s license, etc.) you’re screwed.  Not to mention the humiliation and shame of not being seen for who and what you are in every definable way.  Even traditionally super-conservative states are coming around to the facts, but here in the middle ages, the Inquisition is still very much in control.  End of rant.  Grr argh.  🙁

This time of year at the Fen is like a grand finale of kaleidoscope flowers and butterflies.  On the way out we stopped to talk teal and muskrat sightings with a hunter decked out in full camo gear and gun.  We’ve come across deer hunters in the fen before.  They’re always pleasant, but we wonder why we encounter so many hunters in a protected nature preserve, where wildlife is already few and far between.  We were glad all the critters seemed to be in hiding today!  In fact, we think the beavers and others may have moved on due to deteriorating natural (or manmade) conditions.  We can relate.

Being Poor

This is John Scalzi’s famous piece on what being really poor is like.  To many of us it’s just a theoretical concept.  It was to me for the most part, until I met someone whose story rivals and even exceeded that level of deprivation.  It’s mind-boggling, what people in this century, in this developed country, still go through to survive.  Some, like Scalzi, go on to become famous, respected writers and other professions, through sheer determination and vision.  Others are not fortunate enough to have opportunities or mentors to encourage them to beat the odds.

Compared to the above, I wouldn’t call our situation utter poverty, especially relative to much of the world.  We get by with basic necessities, and the occasional cheap or free pastime.  We have learned to be fairly content with our present circumstances, patiently (with exceptions) waiting for them to improve so we can move forward.  I wouldn’t call it zen-like acceptance, but we have come to grips with our setbacks, keep our eyes on the goal, and tighten the belt as necessary.

So it was while “indulging” in one of those free pastimes, hiking, that I started thinking about the forms addictions come in.  The common denominator seems to be insecurity, and attempting to alleviate it or “fix” it.  Some people buy stuff in an attempt to make themselves feel more secure or less empty, a substitute for what they really need.  I’ve been known to do it now and then!

I thought about all the things I’ve come to realize I don’t “really  need” to be content, mostly by not having a choice in the matter.  But there’s always that basic bottom line, like a lifejacket, without which you think you’ll sink and drown.  We think we have to have all these things society tells us we want and need, or we won’t be OK.  We’re afraid to let go.  We anxiously watch each thing fall away from us, dreading the loss and sense of insecurity that will surely follow.  Then amazingly, we manage to keep going, and even live without it.

Craving artificial diversions and indulgences can be an addiction, giving a false sense of wellbeing.  It’s so hard to go cold turkey, because you think you’ll have nothing left.  But it’s a paradox; what you believe you need to keep those insecurities at bay, is actually what is keeping you cut off from what will make you well and whole: the natural world as our ancestors knew it, in all its simplicity and lack of manmade complication.

Did I get all that from a hike?  No, but there was a point at which I felt I could go one of two ways: be miserable and preoccupied by feeling poor and deprived by my circumstances, or let all that drop away and be in the moment, undivided, in the peaceful ancient forest, the way it must have been before violent, greedy white conquerors disrupted the peace and destroyed the natural order of things.  Those early first nations may have been “destitute” by our standards, but they knew a thing or two about wellbeing and harmony with our world which we’ve lost.  They had very little, and made it work.

I know we have it really good compared to many people.  We’re not refugees, not locked up, not subject to constant fear of brutality, and we have enough to eat.  We have some future prospects, modest, but more than we had before.  There’s still some natural beauty left to explore and nurture.  It’s amazing how much you can lose and still be not only OK, but maybe more human, as intended.

Not that I would turn down an unexpected million dollars!  I’m not that zen.  But knowing that probably won’t happen, I’m OK with that.  The trick is being resourceful with what you’ve got, and I like to think I’m tricksy like that.

Here are the wildflowers.

It was a perfect late summer day at The Narrows, along the river.  The wildflowers were blazing in masses of  gold, purple, blue, white, and pink.  The fungi were really spectacular–one kind I’ve never seen before was a very shiny black, and another was like a huge perfect cream flower up against a tree, very unique.  People were canoeing and kayaking.  The sun was shimmering through the old towering trees.

I’ve divided this into two posts: P.1 is trees, fungi, and water, and P.2 is wildflowers.

The flowers and bees are crazily going at it, knowing fall is just around the corner.  Happy erev.