Obviously Father’s Day is sad for the many who have lost their fathers, but this isn’t about that.  This goes out to the less visible set of fathers who have lost children, and even fatherhood, for one reason or another.  It’s a subset we don’t think about much, or even see.

I’m purposely keeping this vague and general, but if you’re in this number, you know who you are.

Perhaps you’re in the tiny minority of fathers who literally transitioned MTF for necessary medical reasons, and in the process were abandoned by your children and family.  Maybe you’re a father who is uncertain about the future of your kids’ guardianship.  Or you’ve literally lost a child to death.

There are also those of you whose fathers are alive, but may as well be lost to you, having abused,  neglected, or abandoned you in childhood.  Or your father moved on to start a whole new family, leaving you behind.  Some never even knew their fathers.

Some are in unconventional marriages and will never be accepted as fathers, no matter how devoted and responsible they are.

I know people in most of these categories.  Just as with Mother’s Day, this is a particularly difficult day for them, as society commercializes Ideal Fatherhood and rubs it in their faces.  This is just a humble shoutout to the lost and forgotten fathers among us.  We see you.