The best thing I can say for this time of year is the sparkly, shiny lights, turning a dark, humble space into a wonderland.

Other aspects of this holiday can be illuminating in quite a different aspect.  It seems to bring out the worst in people.  A minority appear to be having a merry, festive time, while a growing majority are struggling not to go into further debt.  The stress level is intensified.  Those of my friends and family who are mourning the loss of loved ones this time of year, whether recent or not, feel the loneliness and isolation even more deeply.  The oblivious frenzy around them just amplifies their own marginalization.

To my family and friends who have lost someone close to them, been abandoned or rejected by their families, have experienced a painful dissolution of a relationship or lost access to their children, had their whole life disrupted or income severely impacted, or just struggle day in and day out to survive and find meaning, I just want to say: you are not alone, take heart.  The people who intentionally make your life a hell, in contrast to the values they lay claim to this season, are not worth the effort and expense they expect of you.  Whereas those who love and support you and share your essential values are your true family, with whom meaningful “traditions” can be created.

Just like the simple lights that can transform an inner space into an atmosphere all year long, I wish for the people I care about who have suffered loss, much transforming light in their lives in the coming year.  And may a spotlight expose those who only do damage, for what they really are.