This crazy climate keeps you guessing.  It was in the eighties–80s!!–for a couple of days, then last night it snowed!  My first snow in STL.  Now it’s freezing out.  I’ve been holding off turning on the heat, using solar light and warm temps, some baking, and possibly borrowed radiant heat from surrounding apartments(!) to regulate ambient temps, but I may have to concede.  Summer was nice while it lasted through much of fall!

Still, nature doesn’t stop, just goes underground, aside from the last few vestiges of summer.  I can always scrounge up a bouquet for Shabbat.  Or start up my propagation station indoors, thanks to Avdi’s setup skills.  So far I have some annual and perennial herbs, Asian ginger, lemon seedlings, and tropicals.  Soon I’ll start some lettuces and greens, more herbs, and some wildflowers just for the hell of it.  I also have an evil plan to sow (broadcast) native wildflower seeds along the edge of the drainage culvert behind the apartments, as soon as it gets a little colder, so they can stratify all winter.

Over at the Avdi’s yesterday, J&C as usual were cooking up a delicious vegetarian storm, including these fabulous soft pretzel “rolls”.  I contributed an apple cake I had baked.  Percy the guinea pig supervised.  Here is Avdi pouring our drinks.

Today I connected with various CRC social justice groups to offer to volunteer.  It’s long overdue, and I feel good about this.  Maybe there’s still time to make a small difference in my local world.  Without someone constantly surveilling, scrutinizing, and accusing me of threatening their security by the mere act of (gasp) interacting with people!  Have I given away too much?  I’ve been blocked (supposedly), so I guess it’s safe to speak openly.  So un-blockage!  Sounds like a plumbing problem.

Also today, my son kindly dropped by and assembled my propagation racks (one for plants in the living room, one for storage in the laundry room), which was a great help, what with me being so mechanically challenged.  It was doubly thoughtful, because he’s going through some stressful physical and emotional recovery, yet voluntarily made the time for me.  Now I have more room and grow-lights for starting plants, such as lettuces and greens, herbs, and flowers.  And shelves to store all my overflow stuff.

I improved upon my homemade earring tree–here it is.  Also here is a pretty drink my granddaughter mixed, on the occasion of our toasting a significant status change (not mine, although…)

As for the so-called blockage, I’ll refrain from saying more right now, as it’s a disturbingly long chapter that I need to process and put behind me.

This one’s a major first.  I voted in MO for the first time.  It was walking distance to the local elementary school.  Lots of people were there, but no lines.  Everyone was friendly, no challenges.  The ballot was manual, not electronic, another first for me in decades.  You had to fill in each space by pen on a two-sided large paper ballot, then feed it into a machine at the end.  So quaint!  But bonus–they had not one, not two, but four choices of sticker designed by local school kids!  Now that’s class!

The bonuses keep on coming.  They have these little free lending/borrowing book kiosks on the streets here, and I found a Charles Stross sci-fi novel I wanted to read!  Fitting, because I’m finishing up a series by John Scalzi, a big Stross fan.

While I’m at it, I wanted to order a Mezuzah for my door, but don’t have much spare discretionary spending money.  It turned out I had a credit on Etsy I had forgotten all about, which covered a cheap Mezuzah case, with change left over!  And my son happens to have a spare scroll for it.  How auspicious is that?

So really, I have very little to complain about.  Obtaining and affording groceries is a bit of a challenge without a car or much income, and depending upon the charity of rides.  I definitely can’t afford all the costs of delivery.  But since when does a good challenge stop me?  I applied for a public transit senior discount, so hopefully I can learn to navigate the bus system.  It’s about time I joined much of the human race.

On a whim, I stepped outside of my patio door, and there on the ground was a beautiful, large, dead cat.  It looked very recent, as if it was just sleeping.  That totally unmade my day, which had been pretty uneventful up until just now.  I’ve been missing my cat, and being able to have one, and then this.  I don’t have any way to dispose of it, so it’s just out there, making me sad.  Not a good sign.

In lieu of a dead cat photo, here are flowers.

The last two days were seriously like summer here.  I spent much of them at Avdi’s, doing more yard work and whatever other ways I could find to be of use.  Becoming a “fixture” (i.e. just hanging out, not necessarily earning my keep) takes a lot of practice!  I’m learning that just getting out of my apartment (my head) and being around people, and doing things outdoors, diffuses some of the anxiety and stress of being hounded by my recent unfortunate past.  The rest is up to me to ignore all the vilifying, false accusations, and irrationality, and put it behind me.  Sympathy only reinforces the crazy.

Yesterday I had fun with Avdi’s little chipper shredder, transforming all the dead branches I removed from the sukkah into wood chips, which then went into the veg garden, along with leaf mulch and straw.  The cycle of life from death.  That is going to be one happy veg garden.  Later I strung up solar light strings around the garden fence, and around the big tree.  I also did more clearing and pruning.  Then I cut my usual bouquets, helped clean up for Shabbat, and even read some Maya Angelou.  Indian dinner by J&C was excellent, as usual, especially their incredible naan.  Later I got to join them starting the series Rez Dogs over, one of many shows and movies I’m behind on.

Another challenge is learning to compensate for being low-income and carless in a new town.  I can’t keep depending on people for rides, and groceries are just out of walking range, especially with winter approaching.  Delivery is unaffordable.  I have to get creative with living with even less, or using public transit.  So this is oldster reality.  It makes me nervous, but eventually I’ll get the hang of it.  Doing unfamiliar, uncomfortable things is yet another way to expand one’s horizons–and cognitive skills.  Whereas sitting alone in a cave, threatened by insecurity, people, and new experiences, stewing in past trauma, surely exacerbates dementia or neurocognitive disorders.  If I learned nothing else from the last 8 1/2 years, I witnessed that fact.

Thus these are not just scenic photos; they represent me finding my way back to mental health.  I may be too poor to afford a shrink, but thankfully I get a lot of common sense wisdom and pointers from those who also found out the hard way, and chose aspiration over expiration.

I know that last post sounded a little drunk.  I promise I wasn’t.  Which is even more disturbing.  And now back to my regular boring stuff.

Yesterday it was warm and sunny, almost like a summer day only with autumn colors.  I got to hang out with Avdi in Old Webster, another upscale neighborhood of shops, eateries, cafés, etc.  We checked out a fancy plant nursery, then strolled around, and ate lunch.

Then we went back to Avdi’s, where he continued to work, and I did some more garden cleanup, and planted his new crocuses for spring.  Then I walked home.  It doesn’t get any more regular than that.

As for boring, it really isn’t, for me, compared to before.  I just keep it light and superficial sometimes, rather than talk about what’s really on my mind, for the sake of you, dear casual reader.