If the impending arrival of the kids were a film set, and they were the cast, I think my job could be described as the assistant set designer.  I help with all the “below the line” dressing or setting the scene.

Yesterday was a case in point.  I slept over, then woke up and got K up so Avdi could take him to school (it was raining and cold).  After A and I ran some errands, he worked upstairs all day, while I worked below stairs on cleaning, organizing, and laundering the kids’ areas.

It’s a big job, not done yet.  There were piles of trash, dirty clothes and bedding, and scattered kid stuff to sort.  I also straightened up Percy the PigWig’s area while I was at it.  (I think he’s more of a prop than a cast member.)  It already looks a lot better down there.  The objective is to provide a clean slate to welcome them.  They may proceed to re-trash it, but that’s a storyline for another day.

I did several other jobs as well, and then made a Mex-style dinner for the three of us, which they seemed to appreciate.  We’re starting to get into a routine pattern, like rehearsing for an upcoming production.  A big production!  Fortunately, I get a day off to stay home and rest up for the next work day, tomorrow, erev Shabbat.  No more just dying slowly for me!

Our work week got off to a good start yesterday (M).  As it was springlike, I walked to Avdi’s, where K. was off for MLK,Jr. Day.  Avdi worked in the office, while I worked on cleaning the house.  I even got to talk to my next oldest grandchild E. on the phone, which was great.

I cleaned out the fridge, cleaned and straightened the dining room and living room, washed dishes, addressed some business mail, cleaned out J&C’s old room and stored their gear down the basement, cleaned up the downstairs bathroom a little, took out garbage, and anything else I could think of.  I took a break outside and saw masses of spring bulbs coming up enthusiastically.

Later the three of us had our Monday house meeting, in which we talked about scheduling, jobs, meal requests and assignments, etc.  K. was a full participant.  Then Avdi and I discussed additional garden seed-starting supplies he might need, and ordered some.  Then he took me home.  The evening sky was pretty, almost anticipatory.

This evening I’m returning to spend the night with K. while Avdi goes out.  This time I’m prepared with an overnight bag.  Good practice for this summer.  Tomorrow we’ll make a major cardboard recycle run, and do some grocery shopping, and I’ll make dinner there.

All of this is to work up to having a regular family routine in place when the kids arrive, with each of us knowing and  carrying out our respective roles, but with flexibility to allow for unexpected things coming up.  Especially with the various neurodivergent and developmental disorders involved, a predictable routine and secure, calming atmosphere is essential.

So I guess this blog will partly become a journal tracing my progress reintegrating with my family, preparing physically and mentally for reacquainting myself with my grandkids, and taking a more active role, which was the main reason for moving here.  I think this will be a very healthy, positive, though challenging, transition for all of us.

Firsts here in STL will never be in short supply.  Here’s one: my first time being head Shabbat baker and chef at Avdi’s.  Someone has to do it!  First we went shopping at two grocery stores, to restock for both of us.  Then we both got down to our respective jobs.

I must admit, my first official attempt at challot here in STL was not bad at all.  They rose like gangbusters and came out much more authentically than my previous attempts.

I also roasted a chicken “vermouth-essorie”, potatoes, carrots, and brussels sprouts.  Avdi, K., and I had a pleasant time talking over a traditional Shabbat dinner.  Then I spent the night, while Avdi went out.  A rehearsal of sorts for the coming kid tsunami.

Yesterday (Sunday) Avdi and Jess came over and assembled the IKEA chest of drawers Jess had kindly bought for my office.  We ate takeout Asian hotpot and rice, and they put the IKEA jigsaw puzzle together, while I upgraded my OS version, also a long overdue first in STL.  They, and I, were all successful.  Now I have actual furniture to put all my officey stuff in.

Today it’s off to Avdi’s to get back into a regular weekday work schedule pre-onslaught.  Our work is cut out for us.

Today it was like spring out, and Avdi and I went to lunch at a local Irish/Welsh pub, Llywelyn’s.  There was a lot of catching up to do.  Mostly we had a good talk about current and future family events, over local craft beers and good food.

It seems “end of the month” turned into practically overnight for J&C, who just packed up their car and up and left for PA, just like that, with an offhand remark to Avdi, who is still digesting it himself.  So that was quite a news flash for both of us.  It means he (and I) will be moving up our forthcoming strategy for my household role sooner.

So we had a general discussion about future planning, scheduling, and management of the household before and after the kids arrive.  It’s a complex situation, so many moving parts, but it was a very productive and reassuring conversation, a prelude to working out the logistics of many aspects of our lives going forward.  I feel a lot more positive and encouraged about transitioning into taking more of an active role with my family, but with reasonable boundaries.

In many ways we’re on a similar page, and what I don’t know yet, I’ll take my cues from Avdi as we go along.  We’ll have weekly family meetings, divide jobs and schedules appropriately, and I’ll have respite times set aside.  Best of all, we hope to turn erev Shabbat into a real family thing, with me getting to make challah and cook traditional Shabbat dinner, and have the option of sleeping over to give Avdi a break.  My other jobs will be clearcut and what I’m able to handle.  It will give me more of a sense of purpose and fulfillment.  And a side benefit of plenty of outdoor/indoor exercise.

Remember the Jigsaw Puzzle From Hell?  Eventually Jess’s family pieced it together, how I don’t know.  There’s only one solution to that kind of puzzle; the challenge is enduring the tedium to accomplish the preordained, inevitable result.

Here, on the other hand, is a living, breathing labyrinth.  There may be only one or possibly two correct routes to the exit, but so many intriguing false turns, convolutions, and choices on the way.  Do you sense a metaphor coming on?

You can look at your life like an inert, two-dimensional jigsaw puzzle–a one way, tedious, predestined, plodding existence to the end, with nothing original or creative to show for it.

Or you can look at it like a living, breathing, three-dimensional maze with many possible options, some dead ends, some promising paths, but either way lots of adventures and choices on the way.

I’ve experienced both approaches, and find myself caught between the two sometimes.  It’s easy to fall into a tedious rut, with no options or hope, and resign yourself to the inevitable.  Or, you can take a chance on unknown paths, risk time-consuming false turns and dead ends, but enjoy a sense of accomplishment and even have some fun along the way.

I know, one of my typical non-original analogies, but I had the perfect illustrations, so might as well come up with long-winded pseudo-philosophical captions for them, eh?

And now, some more MOBOT Glow photos, just to lighten up, heh.

Last night Avdi, Jess, K., and I went to see the Botanical “Garden Glow” exhibit.  The entire gardens were spectacularly illuminated with ever-changing, pulsating light shows and music.  The waxing full moon overhead through bare old trees added a mystical element to the already fantasy otherworldly experience.  Let some photos do it more justice than mere words.

I realized at midnight in STL, as nearby fireworks were going off an hour late, that this was my first new year in Central Standard Time.  I had to find a recorded NYC ball-drop video from an hour earlier!  Because of course only NYC counts as true midnight!  Which is absurd, because much of the world had entered 2023 various hours ago.  Some habits of mind die slowly.  Of course I’m aware that Californians (like The Bobs) who are used to being three hours behind the east, take it in stride.  But I forgot I’m now among the back-in-timers.  Riding a DeLorean on Route 66.  So anticlimactic.

Which was fine, because I was busily watching all my new series on various borrowed streaming services.  Speaking of time travel, I can now revisit previous seasons from yesteryear of shows Avdi introduced me to, so as to get up to speed.  So I was all over the space-time continuum as it were, from period dramas set in the mid-20th c. (the stone age I was born in), to futuristic sci-fi set several centuries ahead (regressing full-circle back to the stone age, only in space).  I barely noticed when STL caught up to the rest of the world.

I’m not a resolution-maker, but if I were…I’d resolve to try to write more authentically and relevantly.  I’m barely an amateur, but I love writing and strive to do it more articulately, and to connect to others, not just talk to myself.  I realize most of the time I’m doing the latter, and if I were you, my 2.5 readers, I’d be bored to death, too!  Nevertheless, I flounder forward in my attempt to impersonate a communicator, one day perhaps even accidentally reaching and touching a fellow sentient being.  Sometimes my fanciful imagination runs away with me, I confess.  In a hypothetical narrative where resolutions are made and kept.

Anyway, happy 2023, whenever yours began.