OK, maybe just a little mini-rant.  OK, maybe not so mini.  Possibly some thunder involved.

Sometimes I hate this state.  If my son and gkids weren’t here, I wouldn’t be either.  Repugs are just plain evil.

I thought maybe I’d give Legal Services of MO a shot at negotiating my eligibility for Medicaid, having tried and failed myself a number of times.  After some time, they came back with the same answer.  I have a fixed annuity, which I can’t just take money from without penalties, which adds a few hundred dollars monthly to my tiny SSA income so I can survive until I die.  According to their technicality, I have “resources”.  Too much “income” for getting much-needed assistance, too little income to pay for basic medical and other needs.  The old catch-22.  Or I could spend down what little I have, be essentially homeless, and hope Medicaid would come through and not screw me.

I’m 72, retired, with Leukemia (not to play that card!), and thousands of dollars in debt to my generous son who paid for outrageous dental bills I wasn’t expecting.  I’m still getting other medical bills from months ago that it seems my insurance didn’t cover.  I can’t afford another doctor or specialist for the rest of the year.  My landlord had mercy on me and reduced my rent increase, taking a loss himself, so I could stay housed.  Along with that increase, my utilities are no longer assisted, for similar reasons to Medicaid’s, and will go up.  These are just facts, not complaints.  (OK, maybe a little kvetching.)

I worked and earned the small income I receive.  Am I supposed to go back to work with few skills, and other obligations, and pull myself up by the bootstraps?  The point I want to make is, millions of Americans are going through this right now, and not just old farts.  Single parents with kids and a job can barely make it.

The Repug agenda in MO and the nation is to take away even more basic human rights and quality of life.  Every day in this state’s legislature and courts, and in most states as well, this fascist agenda is playing out before our eyes, if we bother to pay attention.  Maybe you think it doesn’t affect you and your demographic, but it will.  Worse, it will affect your children and loved ones.  If you ignore it, you’re still complicit.

I don’t know any other way to say this, so I’m just sharing it here.  It’s not just about me and my elder issues.  It’s about my gkids and friends fearing for their lives and healthcare if they’re non-binary or trans.  It’s about my Black friends and kids fearing for their lives just by existing.  It’s about women being refused emergency medical care and told they can die or continue to be abused.  It’s about refugees from political persecution being turned away from our borders because, IDK, they’re just like the immigrants who died building this country and doing our dirty work for us.  It’s about the rightful natives of America, the few descendants who survived our genocide, being respected and treated like humans.  It’s about every one of us, if we choose to vote for nazis, or not vote at all.

So, as I said to my very kind (Black) legal counselor, unsolicited gratuitous plug for Kamala Harris!  (I could tell we were on the same page.  Also, unrelated, she had lots of cats!)  You know, I think she was the only human I’ve talked to in a week!  Solitude gives me too much time to think.

Apropos of nothing, here’s Avdi’s newly reorganized bar, now that he’s home to enjoy it.

I will say the weather here is never mediocre or half-assed–it’s always extreme.  This week featured t-storms and excessive heat alerts at the same time, with heat indices approaching India standards.  Good excuse to just stay home and have writer’s block–nothing to write about, with my caretaking complete.  Just awaiting Avdi’s return, and doing procrastinated chores.  Yep, that’s my riveting life.

I could comment on the most recent example of calling 911 while being Black, then getting shot to death by a cop for her troubles.  It’s no wonder people of color take their own chances rather than call the police.  Half the time the cops are unstable, unvetted, and have records themselves.  Even a little psycho.  Imagine calling for help with an intruder, then a cop murders you instead for no reason.  I know this goes on every day in every state, and more articulate, informed people have written about it and acted upon it.  This is just me, a nobody sitting here wondering how it is humans are still insane savages, still regressing in 2024.

OK, like I said, not much to say here.  I just spent a week with pretty much no human contact, not that hard to do, so that’s my excuse.  I’m still alive, so that’s something!  Maybe I need alien contact–probably more civilized.

I did my rounds dutifully, telling myself I wouldn’t do any “projects” today, then of course found a few more small ones to do.  I even peered into the dreaded Catacombs of Cthulhu, just to take a look.  Eldritch!  Back to that some other time.  T-storms were threatening, anyway, an excuse to cut things short.  I got a lot done this week, and survived solitary.  If it helped Avdi, then my work is done.

The biggest garden news is some tiny green tomato sightings!  Finally.  Oddly, I can’t seem to grow green zucchini, one of the easiest veggies to grow.   Some the yellow ones are appearing, though.  A few melons are present, too.  If the sweet potatoes turn out as profuse as their thick row of leaves, then that will be a first for me.  And the greens are like jungle plants.

Each day at A’s, I do a little deeper dive into cleaning and organizing.  Don’t Panic Avdi, it’s all good!  It’s so uncomfortable outside, it gives me an excuse to be productive inside.  I still haven’t gotten up the nerve to penetrate the dark Catacombs of Cthulhu yet.  The day will come.

This is the first erev in a long time that I’ve been alone, with no one to do preps for or go out to dinner with.  But I’m OK with it.  Avdi has done his time of hard labor and earned this time away.  And I’m pretty good at doing solitary!  I’m sure I’m not alone in being alone.

I like being Avdi’s “caretaker” while he’s away, because I always find things to do and small “projects” to take on!  It’s my obsession with creating more order and organization.  Avdi never seems to mind!  (Or have much to say about it, heheh!)

I did eventually make it out to the garden, mainly just to water.  It’s been so humid and buggy, it’s hard to work outside for long.  But gradually I’ll prevail over that challenge, as well.  It gives me something to stay alive for!

…and takes my mind off of precarious politics for a little while.

One thing I do miss about Ohio is all the beautiful wild natural preserves with their wetlands, prairies, tall cliffs and gorges with rushing rivers, old forests of hemlock, cedar, sycamore, and buckeye, and masses of native ephemerals.  The mushrooms and fungi were extraordinary.  Lots of native wildlife.  You could hike for miles imagining you were in a primordial world.

I’m sure similar backwoods exist here in MO, but so far all I’ve seen is manicured city and town parks with some planned natural areas of native/nonnative flowers, and human-made ponds.  Lots of dogs.  Not to be critical; there’s a place for those, too, and STL is known for its beautifully curated green spaces.

These interesting mushrooms growing out of a rotting tree, in stark contrast to the manicured school lawn surrounding them, are a case in point.  I feel a metaphor coming on, but I’ll spare you!  In almost every other way, I prefer the intelligent and progressive culture of STL to the backward-thinking conformity of much of Ohio.  Which gave us a J.D. Vance.  Rest my case.

Back to the usual drill, I made lunch for Avdi, featuring southern-style assorted greens from the garden, did laundry loads, and of course some garden first aid.  There’s a stubborn, aggressive weed grass that has taken over and refuses to yield to force, so I’ve been reduced to covering much of the veg garden with broken-down cardboard boxes, in hopes of subduing it.  One way to recycle cardboard, if nothing else.  Later we had gin cosmos (my idea) on the patio.

Avdi is off on another out-of-state road trip to visit a friend, so I’ll be doing my semi-caretaker role for a few days.  Let’s see what mischief I mean deeper-dive projects I can get into!

How’s that for clickbait!  It actually is relevant, read on.  Hopefully FB doesn’t take me down again.

You can tell I’ve been playing hooky at home by all the nothing I’ve posted for days.  This lovely photo of a clean bathroom says it all.  At least it’s not Skibidi Toilet!  (Yes, I’m a grandmother of Gen Z/Alpha kids.)

But I finally made it back to the garden, and got a lot done.  It’s a total jungle in there.  I did manage to rescue some veggies out of it.  As usual I made lunch for the hardworking A&J, featuring whatever needed using up in my trademark clever way.

Later, Avdi talked me into “supervising” his intense workout in the garage (I call it the Inquisition).  That means I sit and drink Gatorade while watching him do painful, sweaty things.  I even “lifted” a couple of tiny weights and learned some exercises I could do to build bone density.  Blah.

As a reward for all that grueling torture, we went out to Frisco Pub for dinner and craft beers (excellent food and bar, by the way), and watched people go by in Old Orchard, and talked Vampires.  “Interview with..”, that is.  Keep up.

So, the only reason I haven’t mentioned the latest, greatest political development in like, decades, is because 1. so many other, savvier people are doing it more justice than I could, and 2. I’m still kind of stunned, in a good way, that something hopeful could actually happen to our country at the last minute.  I’ve been conditioned to expect the worst and not get my hopes up for so long.  So I tend to stand back and watch it all play out–and of course vote when the time comes.

I’m glad I got to live to see the possibility of defeating Hitler-wannabees in my lifetime.  I leave all the talking points and conjectures to smart people like my son.  I know he didn’t get it from me!  Some big ironies in there if you know his background.  I just hope we collectively do the right thing this time around and don’t repeat history.

For our latest erev Shabbat outing, Avdi took me to The Grove, the historically gay neighborhood, now starting to gentrify.  It’s full of diverse ethnic restaurants, cafés, and bars, with an inviting, safe, and comfortable vibe.  It’s also very BLM.  One end of the street appears to be a little Afghan neighborhood which refugee families have made their home.  You’re surrounded by a kaleidoscope of aromas, colors, music, and people.

We did a mini pub crawl, checking out the colorful places and getting local craft beers at The Gramophone, and handcrafted summer cocktails at The Handlebar, relaxing on a patio where a DJ (trans girl?) was setting up.  I had the best cucumber mint gin drink I’ve ever had.

We ended up at Sameem Afghan Restaurant, an unassuming place with exquisitely wonderful food.  At the nearby tables were a large Afghan family, a group of young SE Asian students, and so on.  We totally recommend it.

To walk off the fabulous meal, we strolled around some more under a full moon.  Everywhere you look there are colorful wall paintings and inclusive flags.  People of all colors obviously take pride in their ‘hood and in beautifying it.  In stark contrast to the thriving area, there’s a row of abandoned, derelict buildings at the far end of the Grove that reflect a far less prosperous time in STL.  The city is full of these dark reminders, but also of creative, dynamic communities working hard to make their city inclusive and stand against persecution.

Today while A&J worked, I played chef!  [Non-Kosher Alert] I made Cajun-style shrimp and fried okra with tomatoes in a pan, and they gobbled it up.  It wasn’t even slimy.  It’s fun getting to cook real recipes for an appreciative grownup audience.

Just to confuse us, it was like a pleasant spring day out.  I got a lot done, planting, weeding, harvesting, watering, etc.  I actually grew a broccoli head!  I cleared a space and planted the rest of the elephant ears, so it’s looking very tropical around the patio.

Let’s see if this post meets FB’s high standards!  (I’m the Propagatrix they warned you about.)

I finally made it back to the hacienda after all the weatherpocalypse.  Once again the floodwaters had receded and the garden survived.  I planted some herbs I had grown at home, and did some minor triage.  Another watermelon had appeared, and the bird of paradise leaf was starting to unfurl.  Pink spider lilies and skullcap were blooming, and the okra had gone crazy.  See what happens when I stay away?

I made Avdi this vegetarian lunch of sautéed zucchini “noodles”, onions, carrot sticks, okra spears, tomatoes, fresh basil and other Italian herbs, and hand-grated parmesan.  Later we went to the botanical gardens where he worked and I explored.  Look at all this gorgeousness!  As always I learned a lot and got some ideas for challenging areas of the garden.  Last but not least, we stopped at the library and I got my next installment of The Expanse, which for me is like getting ice cream.

Oh, and better than even ice cream, my plea to the universe to help me out with finances was somehow answered, and perio refunded me a large amount that they had billed me!  Stuff like that never happens to me.  I am amazed and thankful.

Well, here goes…let’s see if FB throws me in delinquent jail again.  I’m so evil with my gardening and botany and cooking!