While the madmen destroy every vestige of our democracy, let me pause my ineffective hand-wringing to get back to more “normal” pursuits.  I “took my life in my hands” (not really) to navigate the icy snow mounds to Avdi’s, so he wouldn’t have to pick me up.  All the stress and overwhelm are taking their toll on him and making him sick.  His jaw dropped when I appeared, unharmed, out of nowhere!

Then I got to work on the usual Friday preps, challah and a pot roast he and I collaborated on. All the kids managed to make it home on their own, and even do some of their chores on the list.  K and I worked on cleaning up his workspace in the basement.  We actually had a full table for Shabbat, no truancies.  Y came dressed as a jester in full performance mode, complete with German accent.

After cleanup, they engaged me in a theatrical dialogue on the kitchen floor.  Even E and I had a friendly conversation about mutual interests.  S kept his shrieking meltdowns to a minimum.  Just a “normal” evening with the family!

Garden talk is starting to happen, a sign of looking forward to something.  Kids are requesting favorite veggies and lots of flowers, which I’ve already anticipated.  They want to take on a more active role on individual plots and the general landscape.  Avdi and I started to discuss amending the veg garden soil and tilling later on.

I came home and spent a restless night with political anxiety.  I have to force myself to redirect my forebodings to more productive channels, or I’ll end up venting it in anger or depression.  It’s safer for all of us to be with like-minded others right now, not alone.