Lots of good news in the Village today: J got the job, and Stacey passed her board exams!  Auspicious!  J&C are one step closer to being able to move to their own place, and Stacey is qualified and credentialed for her profession.  Things are falling into place.

All the kids and parents are busy with school orientations and open houses.  Three kids are now at WGHS, Y for the first time.  SQ is starting at Hixson Middle.  Fingers crossed that all goes smoothly.

I’m systematically ticking off the payments I have to make this pay period, which were extra complicated this month, like a 12-stepper, or a Rubik’s Cube.  Thankfully, I got some help from Jess and Avdi for food and surgery.

It’s still too humid and mosquitoey to work outside much, but I did manage to get this monarch (I think?) who was so busy at the silphium flowers that it let me get close.  There were all kinds of other pollinators on them.

I have to say the zucchini is succeeding this summer.  Every time we go out, there are a couple more ready.  And the larger tomatoes are doing well this year.  There are volunteer gourds everywhere, including hanging from fences.  There are more okra than we could ever eat, but I mainly grow them for the flowers and ornamental appeal.

More flowers continue to come up and bloom.  Except sunflowers and lupines, for some reason.

Update: I have weeded about 1/3 of the veg garden now.  All I found under there were a few beets, a few red chard, a whole big row of leeks, a couple of tomato volunteers and not much else.

Sweet Autumn clematis vines are draping white flowers all over the tops of everything.  Other autumn natives are starting to bloom white.  Soon there will be masses of goldenrod and asters in pastel colors.

Just be glad I didn’t do the teen rant!  I let you off the hook for now.

On a lighter note, it t-stormed and rained a lot last night, which only made the humidity and mosquitos worse!  I managed to get a few photos before being punctured to death.  Late summer flowers are starting to bloom.

Whereas I’m slowly fading from lack of sleep.

This is not quite a rant–more a blahgologue, if you will– about kids– the grownup kind.

Teens have somewhat of an excuse for being selfish, rude, manipulative, and ungrateful, because they’re still developing and learning how to be a human being, not just a black hole of neediness.  The trick is to eventually age out of it.  It’s just aggravating while we have to put up with it.

This is the kind with no excuse for still being a self-centered dependent at age 30+.  I don’t care what neuro- and other disorders you have.  Even an autistic kid can be taught appropriate behaviors and functions, if not attitudes, for their own benefit.

But when you’re a 30-something kid with a partner, still living off your parent, taking over her space, using ridiculous rates of utilities and assuming she’ll pay for it, leaving the house a mess, disregarding her property and boundaries, neglecting her pets’ basic needs, and then feeling imposed upon for having to share expenses and responsibilities, you’re being parasitic.  Time to get a job and place to live, so you can learn once and for all how unviable and unaffordable your lifestyle is for your parent.  If that makes you mad, so be it.

The real concern is a parent afraid she’ll hurt the relationship by intervening or having expectations.  So the enabling continues, which hurts the grown kid and relationship more in the long run.  These are kids who are functional and capable of working and living on their own.  It’s just more convenient and less stressful for them to keep imposing upon the parent.

This is not a hypothetical situation, obviously.  If it sounds familiar, it is.  It’s just my untrained but observational opinion.  It’s also based on my experience of being on both sides of that equation.  It’s not an easy transition for either party, but it’s totally necessary for the mental health of both.

In other news, here’s the bunny that lives in our garden.  He/she is pretty tame, so I talk to it while I’m gardening, and it sits there.  It’s only my camera that can’t get close up.

Today I got up early for me, 6-something, did my morning routine, and then Stacey came over to study while her car was being worked on next door.  She’s the first person who’s visited me in a long time.  The car passed the inspection, and she drove home to keep studying, while I drove to Avdi’s.

Avdi was taking care of the shopping trips, so I did some gardening.  I watered, pruned out some weed trees, started weeding the veg garden, and pulled out the not-sunflowers.  I’ve sowed sunflowers at least twice this year, and –nothing.  When I think of my towering sunflowers of yesteryear…sigh.

And zinnias!  How can you not grow zinnias and calendula, but this year there were only a couple of plants.  Same with marigolds and nasturtiums, the easiest flowers to grow.  E/N grew a mass of marigolds without even trying.  It must indeed be time to pass the torch.

Don’t even talk to me about poppies, my favorite.  I grew masses of them in my sunny rock garden in TN.  I sowed CA poppies multiple times in various locations here the last couple of years.  Aside from the gorgeous dark purple ones this year, I barely managed to get one or two of the yellow/orange ones.  They got crowded out or shaded by aggressive natives, or something, so I shouldn’t complain, but—Poppies!!

On the bright side, I grew lots of nice zucchini, large tomatoes, eggplant, and okra.  And of course the monster gourd vines from Planet X, but I really can’t take credit, except for the compost seeds.  I even have a young pumpkin (I think?) hanging from a vine.

Somehow I grew masses of red, white, and blue native lobelia, unplanned, but beautiful.  Again, they crowded out the annuals, so I suppose that’s a win.  And my large native mist flower plants are starting to bloom blue!  The annual Tithonia turns out to be like towering sunflower plants, and should be impressive when it finally blooms.

Today I got shot up with COVID/flu, then went to Avdi’s.  With my autoimmune deficiency from CLL, it’s questionable what the effects will be.  So far, just swollen, itchy, and some kind of hives.

I had all kinds of family business to take care of, but it had finally cooled off a little, after a big t-storm last night, so I got outside and weeded!  There is so much to weed!  I’m actually looking forward to it.  I may even-gasp-mulch at some point.

Tomorrow Stacey is going to drop off SQ at Avdi’s, drop off her car at Master Auto next to me, and come over for (somehow) the first time!  Everyone else has seen my apt.  She’s studying hard for her Board Exams this week, for the job she has lined up here.

So much is happening in the garden!  It’s a big happy mess.  And lots is happening in the kitchen, featuring some gorgeous presentation and garden veggies, by E.  It’s as good as it looks.  E , BTW, is now N.  Keep up.

Over at Avdi’s yesterday, things were bustling.  Avdi gave his whole office an enema [major cleaning and reorg.] with his electro-industrial music blasting.  Stacey was continually shuttling kids back and forth.  Y had friends over.  I schlepped a shit-ton of smelly S clothes upstairs and to Stacey’s vehicle.  I cleaned and did loads of laundry, and sweated in the AC.  At one point I dunked the top half of me in the newly-disinfected pool, I was so hot.  I think I bleached my insides.

Mostly I did stuff on my laptop, notably: I finally got caught up on my photo-deleting project to late 2022, when I left Ohio for good with Avdi and Jess and a moving truck.  That’s a big milestone for me, because not only did it free up a lot of space in storage, but it freed me up from some virtual baggage from that period of my life.  What I mostly kept were photos of Misu, Avdi and family, natural preserves and parks, native and other flowers and plants, and minimal scenes at home(s) and local haunts.

The only nostalgia that got to me was missing Misu, our cat, and realizing how much better my garden skills apparently used to be!  I watched my photographic quality go from awful to much better than now, but that latter is just a faulty phone issue.  I do miss the natural parks in Ohio, which were incredibly magnificent.  Mostly I felt relief to be “rescued”!

And inspired to do better with the gardening!  If and when it ever gets cooler!!  It’s still like a stifling sweat bath , with hints of rain, but supposed to get more “normal” summery tomorrow.  I need to plant more greens, salad, and cooler-weather herbs again for fall.  The whole yard needs a major makeover.  Don’t hold me to anything I may have sworn to do before this!  Nature itself dictates (also hungry mouths), and I obey.  That’s always the best way.  I still refuse to use pesticides, though.

Here are some of my last glimpses of Ohio, and some from now.

I just realized I must be turning Midwestern.  Never thought I’d say that!  Ironically, it took getting out of Ohio and living in STL.  I mean, same tornadoes, but without the ambience and culture they have here.  Also trees!  They didn’t chop down all the trees here to make way for miles of capitalist industrial corn.

But the giveaway I’m referring to is long monologues {blahgologues} on weather, gardening, and gkids.  Nothing of deep substance, just nice sensible mundane trivia and clichés, ad nauseum.  The occasional rant.  See what I’m saying?  I’m about to do it some more.

Damn this hell-heat!!  It keeps getting extended indefinitely.  I can’t even get out and clean up all the damage it does to the crops.  But even as idiot trumpers die in their own apocalypse, they’ll be complaining about delusional commie liberal Biden and Obama conspiracies.  They brought their own deserved proportional hell on themselves, but the rest of the world gets to go down with them.  Do not talk about “democracy” to me.  Rant over.

So Stacey did a marathon sleep-deficient final run to her new home yesterday, and immediately started giving rides to all the kids all day.  I was very grateful, being in the middle of baking and prepping for erev.  It helped Avdi a lot, while working.  Of course there was the usual confusion with Y not getting with the program, but he’s learning about cause and effect.

In between rides, Stacey got to have worthwhile conversations with kids.  Y had his HS orientation, E was out all day with rehearsals, K/S had therapy, and shopping with Mom, and S/Q  got some practice not having everything centered around him, or keeping K/S from sleeping.  Having one more parent/grownup around is already making a difference.

I lost count of how many came to dinner, but even with Y and friend disappearing into his room, it was a full table.  Jess joined us briefly.  She has to take her other kid, R, to college today, and is going through empty-nest syndrome.  I can understand.  I suspect some gkids will be next to vacate; they’re so eager, they may get out of the country altogether.  Can’t blame them.

Next week, S/Q will have his orientation at the middle school.  We’re all hoping he’ll adjust well, with some special ed assistance.  He’ll be spending nights at Mom’s, but days with us while she prepares for her profession exams next week.  Eventually he’ll live with her and commute between school and home(s).  K/S will get her room and privacy back.  We’ll get the sofa and screen back!

Avdi was able to blast the pool back into commission.  I may even join Stacey in it.  Finally, a grownup to talk to!

The Midwest may have its evil trump majority rule, same as much of the country, but still, it’s not so bad once you get to know it.

Heat index values up to 113º, no breeze to speak of… it’s like a seafood boiler out.  I mean, you wouldn’t need the pot.  JK, no crabs were abused or experimented on.  I suppose this is just fake global heating that Biden or Obama came up with to torture repugs.  The hell on earth they created and deserve.  In the near future, we’ll look back on this as a normal summer day.

It did conveniently t-storm early this morning, so I don’t have to water.  Thoughtful of it.  My brain is already a fried egg from walking outside for a minute.  That leaves finding more indoor ways to earn my keep.  Not that hard, since the rooms magically revert to disaster mode five minutes after I straighten them.  But school starts August 25.  And S will be spending more time at Mom’s, after she gets here for good tomorrow, which will relieve several situations.

I had a pretty good conversation with K/S today.  We talked about some of the things stressing her out lately, which I could understand.  Sometimes it’s hard to get an opportunity to talk with just one kid, without someone else’s melodrama or chaos going on around you.  K/S and E are just verging on young adult, when you can have an intelligent conversation and get a glimpse of what they’re contending with.  Y has not reached a stage where I can have any meaningful exchange at all, but I notice he’s like that to almost everyone, except his friends.  They just stay in his room shrieking.

I’ve saved up a few photos, including one of what I thought was some red shrub, and now realize is a crepe myrtle, not a native, but pretty.  I mostly like it for its botanical name, Lagerstroemia, which sounds like a beer.

My afternoon consisted of being useful running a prescription errand.  On the way home I found the St. Louis library branch I’m supposed to go to, technically living not in WG.  So now I have two library memberships.

Tomorrow I have another assignment, this time to take Y to and from his HS orientation, a momentous occasion.  I wonder how he will adjust to HS.  I think it will be good for him, like shocking a pool.

Can you find the dog lurking?

I was out watering the dog and me, and incidentally, the garden, and made some new discoveries.

The three sisters had babies–a gourd and possibly a pumpkin or squash!  There are tassels on their corn stalks (no corn yet), and an occasional bean on their vines, so it’s official.  Maybe we could have a shower to celebrate?

The mystery hanging gourd/pumpkin/? on the neighbor’s side of the fence is getting big!  I wonder if they noticed it!

The giant gourd (?) monster taking over the yard keeps producing adorable little babies.

And the veg plants keep producing zucchini, eggplant, tomatoes, a few peppers, more okra than we can keep up with, and even some additional baby potatoes.  The veg garden is turning into a flower garden as well!  I’m pretty sure if I leave it alone next year as planned, it will explode with volunteer everything.

The euphorbia (green and white variegated) seems to be a great pollinator magnet, similar to mt. mint.  It really draws a crowd.

The infernal heat wave has of course been extended into tomorrow, or perhaps forever.  I won’t say I’m acclimating; rather, I try to ignore it, because I will not be stopped!

Update: extended through Sat!!  Why don’t they just say permanent extreme weather?!

I took my time coming over today.  I attempted to start raking up the mess out front and back, until E took over.  I was pouring sweat just standing out there, and got sick to my stomach.  I just can’t.  I straightened up a little inside, where I’m staying.  Call it survival.

I’ve been sorting through years of digital photos on my computer, deleting and restoring space.  I’m still in TN, made it to 2021, in the height of COVID.  I forgot how good I was at growing veggies, flowers, and trees.  Even with the crappy TN soil.  The memories are not so good, but I must have been overcompensating with gardening.

Also, my photography improved and became actually better than it is now, because of the phone quality.  I’m actually a little envious of my skills then vs now.  As soon as this infernal inferno eases off, I’m going to outdo myself, if I die trying.

What do I miss about TN?  The mountains, sunsets, trees I planted, the passionflower vines and poppies (actually all the flowers) I somehow grew in abundance, of course my son while he was there, and not least, Misu the cat, who was from there and adopted us.  She was my last cat, and I miss her to death.