With the B&B canceled, everyone had a chance to get much-needed rest and recovery time.

Despite her traumatizing injury, Stacey was able to view possible new homes and may have nailed the one she wanted.

Some friends came over and had two different games going at the table, including Jess, Stacey, and S.

Mostly we just all hung out or slept.  The kids got to spend needed time with one or the other parent.  E was still traumatized from the ER night and needed to debrief with Avdi.  S got to show off his latest creative projects.  K was able to work out what had been driving her resentment toward her Mom over the dog incident, and apologize.

Stacey realized she’d be spending time cooperating as part of the “team”, including Jess, so it would be fitting to start becoming allies on the same page.  I was particularly impressed by her proactive gesture.

I’m finding that however complicated and messy community is by nature, the ultimate goal is to recognize and appreciate human insecurities, face them together, and find solutions.  If an extended/chosen family core can learn these difficult skills, that’s the beginning of extending inclusion and compassion toward others.

It works from the inside out.  It requires work thinking and acting outside of your individual comfort zone and autonomy, to cooperate with people who are still working out their own issues.  At the same time, you can’t sacrifice your personal boundaries and core values.  People must learn to respect those boundaries while mutually benefiting each other.

Anyway, just some thoughts from a work-in-progress.  Meanwhile, the garden is benefiting from all the rain and heat, without any help from me.  In fact, minimal human interference and mutual cooperation are key to a habitat evolving an effective network.  [see title]

Well, it happened again.  Loucious bit Stacey in the mouth, and she had to go to the ER and get stitches and shots.  She’s on antibiotics and painkillers.  It was pretty severe this time.  She looks like an assault victim, and was traumatized.  She can barely eat or drink due to the injuries.

Three strikes is no coincidence.  Stacey, E, and I compared notes.  It happens the same exact way each time.  It’s evening, Loucious is on the sofa, someone makes the mistake of kissing him on the head good night, and he goes for the face or throat.  We had neglected to mention this to Stacey (I assumed wrongly that she had been in on the previous incidents).

So now we have to be extra vigilant when anyone, including other dogs like T, is visiting.  Of course it’s not the dog’s or anyone’s fault, it’s just an instinctive reaction.  But it is a concern.

Stacey still managed to keep her house hunting appointments (with a mask on), despite the inauspicious start, with promising results.  She’s on a very tight timetable between finishing out school and work in MI and moving here this summer with a dog, cat, and probably J&C.  S of course is now here for the summer.

On a more humorous side note, E cunningly managed to hide from all of us the fact that he’s been hatching and keeping baby chickens in his room!!  We were all jaws to the floor (figuratively for Stacey!).  They’re adorable.  So that’s what he’s been up to!  Now he just has to finish his project out back.

Needless to say, with all the shuttling and errands I was doing, I didn’t have time to make challah, but I faked it with some leftover challah, and managed to make a feast, including lots of assorted greens from the garden.  We had a full table, even with Y away at camp.  Jess joined us.

We were going to have a B&B today, but what with Avdi (et al) feeling exhausted and sick, and the weather threatening, we canceled.  We’ll just hang out with all our indispositions.  That’s what a village does, right?  And we’re turning into quite the village!  There’s even livestock!

Some time in between t-storms and 100º sauna the other day, E mowed the lawn.  I don’t know how he does it ($$ incentives help).  You couldn’t pay me (not that they do) to work out in that boiler.  Fortunately the garden is basically on autopilot now, except for weeding and watering in between deluges.  It looks good for the B&B on Saturday.

I’ve been dropping off and picking up K at summer school.  Yesterday she and I went grocery shopping for the rest of her grocery requests.  It was fun, especially since I wasn’t paying!

In fact, I’ve had no money for food for almost a month, and I’m getting down to being very creative to eat at home.  Once I pay rent, utilities, and dental loans each month, I have very little left, and nothing for the eye surgery I need.  It’s getting harder to drive, but I manage for now.

Today Stacey will be bringing S for the summer.  Soon she’ll be house hunting, and then S will live with her nearby.

More later…

It was thunder storming and flooding today, so I literally did nothing in the garden but take some photos in the rain (the best time).  It was also extremely warm and muggy, so Loucious and I were glad for the AC.  I did the usual stuff, plus reorganized the linen cabinet.

Yes that is a pun, but you can’t beat it!  I grew Big Beets!!  And not just a pair!  They’re gorgeous, and taste good, too.  I incorporated the first harvest into the erev meal, and everyone was pleased.  It was a full house, seven including Jess.  Loucious turned tricks for challah, the slut!  I did not just say that.

On the way over, I stopped at VP to see what else I could get for half price to fill out some missing gaps.  I got two kinds of onions (red and white), a tomato (yellow pear), and another eggplant to keep the lone one company.  Also two annuals, a yellow nonstop begonia, and a colorful purslane (related to portulaca, which is also in there) for my “desert” garden.  Today was their last day, selling out everything by the cartload cheap, which I didn’t make it to, probably a good thing.

As you can see, this is the part where all the garden beds have essentially settled into their personas, or informed me that they have a better idea with what they have to work with.  For example, the high and dry strawberry bed has “accidentally” doubled as a squash jackpot (because of the compost), as has one of the raised beds.  Next to it, the once undecided prickly pear bed I’ve restored is obviously meant to be a dry desert succulent/ CA poppies bed.  And next to that, the tall ferny asparagus fronds and the giant horseradish monster have taken over and look beautiful, with monarda (bee balm) in the background.

Same with the “hosta shade garden”.  Once I sorted out that nondescript area, mostly shade, I thought about all the pre-existing hostas in the “woods” area, and thought, “hosta garden”.  That suggested other non-native but non-invasive perennials that typically go in a hosta garden, much as I “disapprove”!  Not very creative thinking, I admit.  But there it is–some perennials I really love had an excuse to join the heinous hostas!  Now that garden is starting to look intentional, at least.  Hey, it improves property value, if nothing else.

The largest raised bed that I’ve tried to grow additional lettuces and greens in (because it’s shadier and cooler) is finally making some progress, but under protest.  It and its sister beds are desperately in need of a soil revival– or resuscitation!  Even all the natural amending I’ve done is still not enough.  Each garden area is either nutrient-depleted, or its components are too heavy on clay, or it’s too shallow with gravel or concrete underneath.

I’m tempted to do a garden sabbatical next year, with plenty of natural composting, to let it recover and regenerate.  I’m pretty sure at this point it would almost reincarnate itself with little “help” from me except some maintenance.  Or I might let E have at it!  If he’s willing, I know he’s able.  Maybe Y could also participate.  It’s time I loosened my proprietary grip!

Speaking of Y, he’s off to summer camp (“gay camp”, as it’s sometimes called!) for a couple of weeks, on his own this time.  The kids there all have a lot in common and get a lot of love and support, and I know it will do him good.  Allie and Billie also headed back to TN today.  I know at least one dog who will be relieved!  Then we get to graduate to the next level, with Stacey’s dog T.. (sp?).  She and S will be staying here while she house-hunts.

You may think my life is boring and mundane, but I’m too busy most of the time to notice.  Never a dull moment here.  So much reality.  I have to take off the occasional day or weekend just to keep up.

The first thing I did at Avdi’s was to put that *&^% exotic invasive in its place–a pot!  Not a minute too soon!

I weeded the hosta shade garden, and transplanted a non-native Chinese wild ginger (Asarum splendens) from the “woods” to there.  That garden is really shaping up to be as intended.

Then I went back and stomped down all the aggressive natives along the woods edge that have probably crowded out my wetland natives.  So there.

I planted a basil plant from my apt in the basil section of the herb garden.

I weeded the outside of the veg garden that has lupines, foxglove, and okra.

Here’s Billie attempting to look even smaller, and Loucious wondering what that encroacher is still doing here.

I may not be a natives purist, but this time I confess I def went too far.

That Ruellia simplex (Mexican petunia) is actually illegal or restricted in many states for being extremely invasive, although the newer sterile cultivars are safer.  They had to outlaw it in Florida! It likes it hot, wet, and humid.  I had never seen or heard of it before, and it wasn’t labeled, but I can see how it might have become popular here!  The only solution is to pot it and add it to my tropical houseplant collection, before it does any damage to the environment!

This is what I get for experimenting outside of beneficial natives and harmless annuals.  The nativars or native cultivars was already a step farther than I wanted to go, but they’re close enough to not disrupt anything, while my own natives are being !@#$%^& slackers!  Also the perennials (and everything else) were on sale half-price!   I mean, c’mon, Joe Pye and Liatris!  Other aggressive natives have taken over like weeds, but if I can outlast them until next year, I’ll try again.

There’s a political metaphor in here somewhere, but I leave that to your imagination.  Just be warned!

In other (non-hort) news, yesterday evening while A&A went out, I took Y to his high-end (to me) hair salon appointment for the first time.  I don’t know why the whole experience made me very nervous, though everything went smoothly and we survived.  I guess it was the combination of a new-to-me place, with Y (condescending as usual), and the sticker shock, even though I wasn’t paying for it myself.  (Probably the road block detour and fire truck sirens didn’t help.)  The place made me feel very out of my element or league.  I just wanted it to be over!  One more challenge under my belt.

Today at VP, I was able to get (half-price) some of the tomato and pepper plants I needed to fill out the rows a little.  The ones I sowed are taking their time.

I think I’ve ID’d the purple plant–it’s supposed to be Mexican ruellia, so definitely not a native.  It bloomed purple today.  At some point I’ll move it.

I finally sowed all the flower seeds I had left, into various beds.  More amaranth (love-lies-bleeding), jasmine-scented white nicotiana, tithonia (Mexican torch), assorted heirloom columbines, African marigolds, more CA orange poppies, and a part-shade wildflower mix.  Most of it is non-native, so shoot me.  I’m going for a 360-surround cottage garden.  Must Have Flowers.

I’ve included a photo of Loucious and Billie having a standoff.

Yesterday’s VP finds were a cranesbill perennial geranium which went into the hosta garden, and a mystery plant that I put in along the woods edge for now.  Both areas are turning into actual gardens, even if not strictly native.

I dug all the water bowls into the ground more for easier critter access.  Birds and amphibians tend to utilize “puddles” more than raised bird baths.  I added rocks to each so nobody drowns.

I was able to photo this monarch on the milkweeds!

I’m getting to the garden tweaks phase now, refining it for aesthetic and practical purposes.

Loucious and Billie were actually outside together with no real issues.  They mostly ignored each other, Billie nervously grazing, and Loucious showing off maniacally to keep his status intact.  At one point Billie got the zoomies, as if wanting to join in the action, but L continued to ignore her.  So that’s progress.

After my whole weekend at home, I ventured back to the Avdi’s, by way of VP and Ace.  VP is having their big BOGO sale before wrapping things up their season, so I took advantage and got some great perennials half price: Joe Pye, Jap painted fern, red yarrow, a red and yellow coreopsis, and deep pink coneflowers.  Not natives, but a compromise to fill in some gaps.  I also got a brand new red hose nozzle, to replace the old broken ones.

The yard of course had flooded from all the rain, but it kept everything watered, so I didn’t have to.

Loucious was relieved to finally see me after his tragic ordeal of having to meet and deal with little Billie, who it turns out, can hold her own.  No one was murdered, and now it’s like an uneasy truce.  Loucious thinks he’s being supplanted as the #1 exclusive favorite; you can hear the violins in the background.  It’s good practice for working him up to a more challenging foe.

Loucious and I spent the day outside gardening and frisbeeing.  I planted the new perennials in their appropriate places, and transplanted some previous annuals to more conducive spots.  It’s really looking festive all around.

E and I had a great conversation, probably the first we’ve had of that depth on a grownup level.  He’s obviously done a lot of thinking and learning, and we had a lot to catch up on.

More work to do, so I’ll leave it there.